Guns and Roses

“Did you hear there’s a church in Kentucky that offered free guns for people to join?”

“Let he who is without sin gat a bitch.”

“Doesn’t that seem a little sacrilegious to you? A bit of missing the point?”

“A gun manufacturer just got sued for an ad showing the Statue of David holding a rifle.”

“Is nothing sacred?”

“Guns.”

“Seemingly.”

“I don’t get it? Who exactly are they afraid is coming to take them from their otherwise cold, dead hands?”

“Blacks.”

“Everything Obama has said about guns in entirely reasonable after Newtown, The Batman thing and all the others. Seriously.”

“Not Obama, although his being black surely doesn’t help. Blacks. Plural. The President, not this one but Lincoln, took their slaves and freed them. Now they know what it is to smell the glove they don’t ever want to do it again. They’ll be ready next time. Armed and ready.”

“But it’s not just the South. It’s everywhere.”

“See any black guys jumping up and down about the Second Amendment?”

“In fact I don’t.”

“This is White America feeling like it’s all slipping away. The country club is allowing blacks, towel heads, women and fags. Next step is the government forcing you to have them over for supper. That’s how they think. Most down own a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of but they’re going to defend their imaginary forty acres to the hilt.”

“Seems pretty consistent with the Zimmerman thing. ‘What the hell is a black guy doing in my neighborhood?’ I better get this glock cocked.”

“Say that three times fast. Speaking of which…”

“One more. It’s cold out.”

“’Tis.”

“How fucked up and sad going through life like that— like you could be attacked at any time.”

“Religion’s become the same. It’s not a force for doing good. It’s an excuse for doing bad. ‘It says right here that Jesus hated them queers.’”

“Book of Hand Job.”

“Know what the biggest beer in Ireland is right now? Fucking Bud Light.”

“No sir.”

“Yes sir. Everybody thinks what they’ve got sucks. ‘Yanks must have figured it out.’”

“If they only knew.”

“Nothing is the now. It was always better then or will be better once x, y, and z happen. If only.”

“But it sure as hell won’t without our guns to make sure it does.”

“Fucking zombies everywhere, man.”

“Guns don’t really work on zombies.”

“Nothing does. But it makes you feel better though, don’t it? Feeling like you could until that moment you can’t.”



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